| 40 Reasons to Support Gun Control
(Also known as the proof positive that some Liberals
are not just stupid, but insane.)
1.Banning guns works, which is why New York,
DC, and Chicago cops need guns.
2.Washington DC's low murder rate of 69 per 100,000
is due to strict gun control, and Indianapolis'
high murder rate of 9 per 100,000 is due to the
lack of gun control.
3.Statistics showing high murder rates justify
gun control but statistics showing increasing
murder rates after gun control are "just
4.The Brady Bill and the Assault Weapons Ban,
both of which went into effect in 1994, are responsible
for the decrease in violent crime rates, which
have been declining since 1991.
5.We must get rid of guns because a deranged
lunatic may go on a shooting spree at any time
and anyone who would own a gun out of fear of
such a lunatic is paranoid.
6.The more helpless you are the safer you are
7.An intruder will be incapacitated by tear gas
or oven spray, but if shot with a .357 Magnum
will get angry and kill you.
8.A woman raped and strangled is morally superior
to a woman with a smoking gun and a dead rapist
at her feet.
9.When confronted by violent criminals, you should
"put up no defense give them what
they want, or run" (Handgun Control Inc.
Chairman Pete Shields, Guns Don't Die - People
Do, 1981, p. 125).
10.The New England Journal of Medicine is filled
with expert advice about guns; just like Guns
and Ammo has some excellent treatises on heart
11.One should consult an automotive engineer
for safer seatbelts, a civil engineer for a better
bridge, a surgeon for spinal paralysis, a computer
programmer for Y2K problems, and Sarah Brady [or
Sheena Duncan, Adele Kirsten, Peter Storey, tc.]
for firearms expertise.
12.The 2nd Amendment, ratified in 1787, refers
to the National Guard, which was created by an
act of Congress in 1917.
13.The National Guard, funded by the federal
government, occupying property leased to the federal
government, using weapons owned by the federal
government, punishing trespassers under federal
law, is a state militia.
14.These phrases," right of the people peaceably
to assemble," "right of the people to
be secure in their homes," "enumeration's
herein of certain rights shall not be construed
to disparage others retained by the people,"
and "The powers not delegated herein are
reserved to the states respectively, and to the
people," all refer to individuals, but "the
right of the people to keep and bear arms"
refers to the state.
15.We don't need guns against an oppressive government,
because the Constitution has internal safeguards,
but we should ban and seize all guns, thereby
violating the 2nd, 4th, and 5th amendments to
16.Rifles and handguns aren't necessary to national
defense, which is why the army has millions of
17.Private citizens shouldn't have handguns,
because they serve no military purpose, and private
citizens shouldn't have "assault rifles,"
because they are military weapons.
18.The ready availability of guns today, with
waiting periods, background checks, fingerprinting,
government forms, et cetera, is responsible for
recent school shootings,compared to the lack of
school shootings in the 40's, 50's and 60's, which
resulted from the availability of guns at hardware
stores, surplus stores, gas stations, variety
stores, mail order, et cetera.
19.The NRA's attempt to run a "don't touch"
campaign about kids handling guns is propaganda,
and the anti-gun lobby's attempt to run a "don't
touch" campaign is responsible social activity.
20.Guns are so complex that special training
is necessary to use them properly, and so simple
to use that they make murder easy.
21.A handgun, with up to 4 controls, is far too
complex for the typical adult to learn to use,
as opposed to an automobile that only has 20.
22.Women are just as intelligent and capable
as men but a woman with a gun is "an accident
waiting to happen" and gun makers' advertisements
aimed at women are "preying on their fears."
23.Ordinary people in the presence of guns turn
into slaughtering butchers but revert to normal
when the weapon is removed.
24.Guns cause violence, which is why there are
so many mass killings at gun shows.
25.A majority of the population supports gun
control, just like a majority of the population
supported owning slaves.
26.A self-loading small arm can legitimately
be considered to be a "weapon of mass destruction"
or an "assault weapon."
27.Most people can't be trusted, so we should
have laws against guns, which most people will
abide by because they can be trusted.
28.The right of online pornographers to exist
cannot be questioned because it is constitutionally
protected by the Bill of Rights, but the use of
handguns for self defense is not really protected
by the Bill of Rights.
29.Free speech entitles one to own newspapers,
transmitters, computers, and typewriters, but
self-defense only justifies bare hands.
30.The ACLU is good because it uncompromisingly
defends certain parts of the Constitution, and
the NRA is bad, because it defends other parts
of the Constitution.
31.Charlton Heston as president of the NRA is
a shill who should be ignored, but Michael Douglas
as a representative of Handgun Control, Inc. is
an ambassador for peace who is entitled to an
audience at the UN arms control summit.
32.Police operate with backup within groups,
which is why they need larger capacity pistol
magazines than do "civilians" who must
face criminals alone and therefore need less ammunition.
33.We should ban "Saturday Night Specials"
and other inexpensive guns because it's not fair
that poor people have access to guns too.
34.Police officers, who qualify with their duty
weapons once or twice a year, have some special
Jedi-like mastery over handguns that private citizens
can never hope to obtain.
35.Private citizens don't need a gun for self-protection
because the police are there to protect them even
though the Supreme Court says the police are not
responsible for their protection.
36.Citizens don't need to carry a gun for personal
protection but police chiefs, who are desk-bound
administrators who work in a building filled with
cops, need a gun.
37."Assault weapons" have no purpose
other than to kill large numbers of people, which
is why the police need them but "civilians"
38.When Microsoft pressures its distributors
to give Microsoft preferential promotion, that's
bad; but when the Federal government pressures
cities to buy guns only from Smith & Wesson,
39.Trigger locks do not interfere with the ability
to use a gun for defensive purposes, which is
why you see police officers with one on their
40.When Handgun Control, Inc., says they want
to "keep guns out of the wrong hands,"
they don't mean you. Really.